Anonymous said: I've been on the same (low dose) hormonal birth control for about 4 years, and my periods are usually like clockwork, but I haven't had one in about 2 months. I haven't changed my diet or sleep or anything, and I haven't had sex. Does that happen, and is it unhealthy to stop having periods?

I would definitely give your doctor a call (most docs have a nurse help line you can call), since it’s a sudden change. 

I don’t necessarily think it’s unhealthy and I know that plenty of people have their period to stop while on hormonal birth control, so I don’t think you need to rush to the ER.

But definitely check in with your doc!

Anonymous said: My period is about 2 weeks late but I've never had sex in my entire life. Im scared and nervous, what do I do?? :(

First off, take a deep breath! Getting really really upset about it isn’t good for you, although I understand why this is upsetting.

Many people experience irregular periods—especially young people. And things like stress, sudden weight loss or gain, recent dietary changes, etc can affect when your period does and doesn’t come. I would give it another week or so, and see if it comes. Sometimes people just skip whole periods, and that’s ok too.

If you are really worried, maybe you can call your doctor or go in for a doctor’s visit? 

But seriously safe sex is super fucking important. Especially for people outside of heterosexual, cis relationships.

I once put myself and my partner at some pretty high risk because, while I knew all the facts, I didn’t think about them. Particularly because in my position, I didn’t think about how it could affect me and my partner because I am a cis woman and he is a trans man.

It could have ended badly because:

  1. I had not been recently tested for STDs, despite being sexually active with other people recently
  2. We did not use any protection for any type of sex (with the exception of using condoms on sex toys, but we didn’t change the condom despite both using the toy).

He didn’t raise any issues with it, though he knew my sexual history, and we took some risks that we should never have taken. Luckily, it turned out alright, and nothing bad happened.

But we are all ingrained with the idea that safe sex is about avoiding pregnancy, because we are told that the only “real” sex is P-in-V sex between men and women. Well, safe sex is NOT JUST about avoiding pregnancy, and sex takes on many different forms.

Please remember to always always ALWAYS use protection, and get regularly tested!

Anonymous said: Okay so I have a question. I'm 22 and I recently got a letter saying that I needed to see the gyno (for the first time), the thing is I've never had sex or really any sexual interaction. So do I really need to go to the gyno?

Yeah, I definitely think you should go to the gyno!

It is recommended (and largely accepted in the medical community) that people who have uteruses and are over the age of 21 get a pap smear every 3 years. Pap smears aren’t just for people who have had sex… Because they don’t screen for STDs! They check for abnormalities in the uterine lining, to catch cancerous or pre-cancerous conditions. And this can happen regardless of your status as sexually active or not.

What I would do is look around for a gyno that you feel comfortable with (do you prefer your gyno to be a certain gender, do you want them to be LGBTQ+ friendly, someone who takes your insurance if you have it or that you can afford if you don’t, etc). Then make an appointment, and you can either see them, and meet them before you have a pap smear, or you can make sure that you see them and meet them day of, and speak with them before you have it done. Especially important if you have any concerns and/or fears about your appointment.

It’s also good to establish connections with a gyno, so that you have someone you are comfortable going to just in case something comes up!

I have a friend who just went for the first time today, actually, and they survived it. And I’m gearing up to go in a few months…. It’s just a part of taking care of your body. :)

Anonymous said: So sorry if this is a really weird question, but I was wondering if it's a bad idea to use a dildo if you've never had penetrative sex before? I just don't want to hurt myself.

There are no questions too weird! Don’t worry!

And you can totally use a dildo, regardless of whether you’ve had penetrative sex before! Hell… Lots of people’s first times with penetrative sex is with a dildo. :) 

I would suggest you start slow and with a small, soft dildo, though, to avoid hurting yourself. Definitely use lube. Lots of lube is good.

Also, in case you were wondering, my #1 tip for buying sex toys is to go to a sex toy store and actually look at and pick up and feel a number of dildos, to get an idea for size, shape, weight, and material. I’ve known a horribly surprising number of people who bought dildos and wound up with like these monsters that were a chore to have sex with. So even if you order online, check one out in a store first.

(I feel like I just typed the word “dildo” a million times and I’m not sure how to feel…..!)

Anonymous said: Is it safe to finger someone when you have a cut on your hand?

I would definitely recommend using protection if you have a cut, especially if it is new, particularly because open wounds increase the risk for transmitting disease.

You can either use a “female” condom on the person, slip a “male” condom over your own fingers, or (probably the easiest) use a pair of gloves (latex free is best, just in case, to avoid allergies). You can even just snip off the corresponding finger on the glove and slip it over your finger. Or, use the other hand!

Although, if you are both monogamous, have recently been tested, and are free of STDs (so would be comfortable having unprotected sex otherwise) then I don’t necessarily see why it would be a problem.

Need some advice on periods, safe sex, trips to the gyno, birth control, and more? Come on over to our ask box

We welcome questions from people of all genders as well.


Anonymous said: Hi, i am 22 and my cycle is super irregular (ranging from 27-48 days) and i was wondering if there was anything i could do to help it be more consistent ?

Hmmm…. I mean, apart from birth control, I don’t really think there’s anything you can do, because irregular periods can be caused by a number of things.

I would talk to your doctor (either GP or gynecologist) next time you see them and mention it. And something that would be worthwhile, I think, is if you kept track of your periods exactly in the next few months. Just to see if there is a sort of pattern with the cycle lengths.

I’m sorry I can’t be of more help!

Anonymous said: ahh thank you, i've calmed down a bit now haha. and well, i sent him a message saying what had happened and he just replied with "haha unlucky" and i said wow that's not the response i was expecting and he was just saying well what do you want me to do and stuff like that :(

Good I am glad that you’re doing ok! This stuff can be super stressful—I know from experience.

And yuck…! I would definitely talk to him. Maybe tell him that it was really stressful for you, not knowing what was going on, and that you felt like he was being flippant and not really realizing how upsetting this was for you. Hopefully he could maybe understand more of why this upset you so much?

I’m glad everything is ok! <3

Tags: Anonymous

Anonymous said: hello, i'm going to be quick because i'm kinda freaking out. i shouldn't get my period for another 6 days (i'm on the pill) and i've started bleeding. i've never spotted between periods before, and i've no idea if this is just spotting. the only issue is, earlier today i found a pill on my floor which means somewhere along the line i've somehow not taken a pill. i'm pretty worried, my boyfriend is being a dick about it and some advice would be lovely :( <3

Oh! First thing’s first, deep breath, because stressing won’t do you any good ok?

The way that the pill works, is that you take a certain number of days of full doses of hormones, and then you take a week of pills that are either significantly lower doses, or more often no doses at all (they are just placebo pills basically). The placebo week is basically a fake period, where your body has a sort of “withdrawal” bleeding because it’s no longer on the hormones. It’s not a real period.

This means that, if you miss a pill, it can totally trigger a “period”! That’s very likely what’s going on, and I bet everything is ok.

You can definitely call your doctor on Monday to double check, but I think you’ll be fine.

You also probably missed the pill sometime within the last few days, so I wouldn’t worry about pregnancy really. However, I would use a condom during sex within the next few weeks until you’ve gotten back on a solid cycle with the pill.

Although, I would like to know—why is your boyfriend being a jerk?! It’s totally not ok for him to be treating you poorly while this is happening. If you would like to talk more about that, let me know. Ok Anon?

I hope you’re doing ok. <3

Anonymous said: My period is late it was supposed to happen on te 14th but it's the 16th and it hasn't happened I had it the last two months but I had protected sex three months ago. and I'm positive he pulled out. Is it cause of the change in climate or stress or something. Please help the last thing I want to do is take a pregnancy test please help I'm scared.

Oh my goodness, my friend. I am so sorry I didn’t see this. I’ve been off tumblr for a few days. I hope I can still help you with this.

Basically, I wouldn’t worry. There’s virtually no chance that you are pregnant, especially if you have:

  1. had protected sex
  2. had protected sex where he didn’t even finish inside of you
  3. have had periods since you had sex

Just take a deep breath. All sorts of things can make your period late, like stress, change in diet, change in exercise, etc.

You should be fine—don’t worry.

Anonymous said: Is it okay to throw away a tampon (not the plastic applicator) in the toilet?

Well, I just looked it up for the first time ever, and the general consensus is that it’s not great to flush tampons. However, I always DID flush them and I’ve never had a problem.

Now I use a diva cup so I don’t have to deal with disposing the cotton.

You absolutely shouldn’t flush them if you have a septic tank system though!

Anonymous said: Bleeding anon: see a doctor. If it comes up you can always say youve been spotting to your mom and blame BC. Speaking of which some people are prone to spotting after sex that could be it (a new BC is the fix). You should also try some lube too...

Aw shoot, I didn’t even think of that…! It could be spotting!
I spotted for a few months straight during the year I was on oral hormonal contraceptives.

Original Anon, you could definitely tell your mom it’s spotting and that’s why you need a doc. And it could be the problem too!

Lube is also good too! I forgot to add that in there. H2O Jo is my favorite brand. Go with water based, always!

(Many thanks to this Anon!)