Anonymous asked: I lost my v-card a month ago and have been very sexually active since, and lately after sex I bleed. My hymen isn't intact anymore so I know it's not that . I've been on oral birth control for over a year now and I read that sometimes the pill can soften the cervix, causing bleeding. We were both virgins and we always use a condom except for once and he didnt cum inside. I can't go to a doc because my mom doesn't know I have sex (I'm 17). Advice/help?? I'm scared that somethings wrong.. :(
Hey! Okey dokey. This is a tough one. What I would honestly suggest is that you still see a doctor anyways. You had a doctor prescribe you the pill, right? Or did you go to a health clinic? Either way, find a way to see and talk to a doctor of some sort.
I don’t necessarily think it’s a problem with STDs, so you should be ok on that front, and telling your mom you need to see the doc shouldn’t entail you disclosing your sexual activity.
As for going to the doctor…. I am fairly sure that there should be some degree of confidentiality between you and your doctor, although I am not familiar with all the laws in place. I would still see the doctor, and ask them to put a flag in your file on the information about your sex life and have it note that this may not be disclosed with anyone.
If the confidentiality laws don’t technically cover you because you are 17, you may still be able to talk to your doc about it and keep that info private.
The only thing would be if they order STD tests and the charges go to your mom’s account/the claims are sent to her and she sees. In which case, you could ask that the testing not be done, OR you could go somewhere such as planned parenthood and have them done more discreetly. (As I said early—I don’t know if there would be any reason to test).
To approach your mom about the doctor appointment, I would just honestly say to her that you are having some concerns regarding the pill you are on and a side effect that is embarrassing for you that you’d rather not talk about to her, but would like to see a doctor about.
Now, my advice in the mean time is to try and pinpoint what conditions cause the bleeding. Is it every time or only sometimes that it happens when you have penetrative sex? Only during penetrative sex w/ a penis or during other types of sex (grinding, fingering, oral sex, etc)? Does it happen when you masturbate? Does it only happen after really rough sex? And where is the blood coming from as best you can tell? From the cervix? From the vagina? From the opening? Is there any other weird pain associated with it?
If you can pinpoint a cause, you might be able to avoid causing the bleeding until you can see a doctor.
But seriously, that is my number one advice—I am not a medical professional in any way shape or form and this isn’t something I can do much more on!
(I can also give you more tips on dealing with your mom if need be.)